by Michael Fisher
The new year always brings new hopes, new goals, and new year’s resolutions. It’s a very natural part of our human life to look for opportunities and new beginnings.
For many of us, though, the new year also brings regret. As we think back on our goals from the last year, we look none-too-kindly on ourselves.
Too often, we are our harshest critics.
Perhaps it shouldn’t be surprising that Christians especially are hard on themselves. One study found that Christians who are prone to feel guilt often have low self-esteem. The same study also found that Christians are “inclined to be either very pleased or disappointed with life.” In other words, plenty of Christians really are doing great, but feel like they’re failing.¹
But then again, maybe it should surprise us. After all, aren’t we the ones who know we’re the children of God? Aren’t we the ones who understand our infinite worth?
The Gospel illuminates the meaning of life on earth — we should be the very ones who have the most confidence in ourselves. So why do we struggle to love ourselves?
Learning to Love Yourself
I already know what you’re thinking — Doesn’t the Bible warn against that?
You’re probably thinking of 2 Timothy 3:1-4.
But mark this: there will be terrible times in the last days.
People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud…
…not lovers of good…lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God.
I’m not talking about this kind of “self-love” — the kind that is filled with vanity and pride, putting down others in an attempt to get higher.
I’m talking about the kind of self-love that causes us to love God even more deeply. The kind of self-love that grows our gratitude to God for everything he’s done for us. The kind of self-love God wants us to have.
When Jesus was asked what the most important commandment was, He responded with two things:
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.
The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no greater commandment than these.
(Mark 12:30-31)
These are often referred to as “The Two Great Commandments.” But there might be a third, implied commandment — to love ourselves. After all, how can we love our neighbor as ourselves if we do not love ourselves?
Satan is the Father of Lies, and he wants to twist every truth of God against us. While the scriptures teach us that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” (Romans 3:23) Satan would have us believe that means we have fallen short of His mercy as well.
While God teaches us that we should not be vain or proud, Satan tries to convince us that we must hate ourselves. While Satan teaches that we are not worthy of love, God’s truth is that Jesus died on the cross for us — a supreme act of love to us.
In other words, a Being of infinite wisdom some something of worth in us — something worth loving.
Self esteem and self love doesn’t mean being vain or proud; it means learning to see ourselves the way God sees us, and loving that version of ourselves.
A Biblical View of Confidence
Confidence is defined as “A belief or conviction that an outcome will be favorable.”
Confidence is a little different than a hope or a wish because it must be grounded in some degree of truth. I can’t have confidence I won’t get a ticket unless I don’t speed. I can’t have confidence I’ll perform well unless I’ve practiced. I can’t have confidence that I’ll make friends at a new job unless there’s some reason to believe that will be the result.
Often, confidence is something that is gained or “earned.” We gain confidence in an outcome as we do the things necessary to make that outcome possible. Confidence is something that usually comes from within.
The Bible, however, expands our view of confidence. Consider this scripture:
The Lord will be your confidence, and guard your foot from capture.
(Proverbs 3.26)
In Gospel terms, it’s God that is the source of our confidence.
Why? Because God has never broken a promise. God has never forgotten His children. God has never abandoned anyone.
God encourages us to place all our confidence and trust in Him, because He is perfect.
The beautiful thing is that when we place our confidence in God, we grow our confidence in ourselves. Confidence is built by following God and knowing that His blessing will follow.
Cultivating Confidence in God’s Way
The world teaches us that “we are who we are” and that we don’t need to change. It tries to convince us that we should “accept” ourselves in our carnal state and that trying to change means “denying our true selves.” It believes confidence comes through “giving up” and “giving in.”
Is there anything so powerless as this lie? To believe you’re not destined to become more than you are?
God’s message, on the other hand, is power-full — to believe that we can become more than we are through His grace and mercy.
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.
(2 Corinthians 5:17)
The message of the Gospel is that God can help us become something that is worth having confidence in. The message of the Gospel is that confidence comes from living the way God wants us to live.
How do we cultivate that Godly confidence?
- Follow God’s Teachings in the Bible. (Psalm 19.7-8)
The Bible shows us the way to follow God. It teaches the things He wants us to do that will fill our hearts with righteousness. Jesus’s perfect life sets the perfect example for us to follow. When we follow God’s commandments, we can know and be 100% sure that we’re doing what God wants us to do. As Christians, we are the only people who can have this bold assurance and confidence.
- Trust God’s Promises and His Holy Spirit. (Heb. 10.23)
The Bible repeatedly tells stories of people to whom God made promises. When God makes a promise, he always keeps it. If God has made promises to you, either through the Bible or through His Holy Spirit, trust in those promises. Have confidence that God will come through — because he always does.
- Celebrate Your Successes. (1 Thes. 5.16-18)
Too often we are hard on ourselves for our shortcomings and imperfections. But that’s the very reason Jesus died on the cross for us — to heal us from our imperfections. Rather than bemoaning every mistake you make, thank God for the help He’s given you and the progress you’ve made. Celebrate every accomplishment, and have confidence in God’s ability to help you continue to progress.
Life isn’t always easy, but it is worth it. There’s a God above who loves us and has confidence in us. Whatever you’ve been through, He loves you — and He has confidence in you! ♥️
Notes
1. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7677265/
Author:
Michael Fisher
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